19. What’s happening 1

20/11/2015

What’s Happening:

General thoughts about the course and my development

Wowzers.  So much to think about.  The input sessions and course reading – and other reading I keep discovering – are giving me lots to think about, and of course it’s impossible to process everything fully at this point.  That said, a few big (and lots of smaller) ideas have been set in motion which I’m thinking through and researching (some methodology and some SLA related).  Despite feeling a bit like I’m trying to juggle and explore several concepts at once, I’m finding the course really stimulating.

Until yesterday I felt a little at sea in terms of knowing whether I was doing what I need to be, but feedback on my SoR was very positive, which felt like a huge relief and very welcome reward for the work I’ve been doing.  (It sounds strange calling it work given I enjoy it so much, but in truth it can be mentally and physically tiring).

I’m obviously very conscious of my teaching but rather than the massive self-doubt that I anticipated would result from so much self reflection and analysis, I feel more that I’m on a curious journey of learning new skills and techniques.  I’m yet to have my first observation though, and wonder whether that might trigger more of a feeling of ‘disintegration’.  If it does, well I just need to keep in mind a quote I line I always loved from a play by the Austrian writer Peter Handke: “to become aware that everything falls back into order of its own accord” (Peter Handke, Offending the Audience).  Well, perhaps not entirely of its own accord, but I know what I mean.

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