General thoughts about the course and my development
Wowzers. So much to think about. The input sessions and course reading – and other reading I keep discovering – are giving me lots to think about, and of course it’s impossible to process everything fully at this point. That said, a few big (and lots of smaller) ideas have been set in motion which I’m thinking through and researching (some methodology and some SLA related). Despite feeling a bit like I’m trying to juggle and explore several concepts at once, I’m finding the course really stimulating.
Until yesterday I felt a little at sea in terms of knowing whether I was doing what I need to be, but feedback on my SoR was very positive, which felt like a huge relief and very welcome reward for the work I’ve been doing. (It sounds strange calling it work given I enjoy it so much, but in truth it can be mentally and physically tiring).
I’m obviously very conscious of my teaching but rather than the massive self-doubt that I anticipated would result from so much self reflection and analysis, I feel more that I’m on a curious journey of learning new skills and techniques. I’m yet to have my first observation though, and wonder whether that might trigger more of a feeling of ‘disintegration’. If it does, well I just need to keep in mind a quote I line I always loved from a play by the Austrian writer Peter Handke: “to become aware that everything falls back into order of its own accord” (Peter Handke, Offending the Audience). Well, perhaps not entirely of its own accord, but I know what I mean.